Helping her w/her hair has turned her into a demanding, little diva? Or is someone else to blame for

Husband and I have custody of 10 y.o. step daughter and her several brothers. I have no bio kids/it's my 1st marriage. She閳ユ獨 always been self-conscious about her hair. Her hair was damaged, unruly %26amp; very dry so it was easier on me as well if I agreed to help out w/it. Within a few months she had a head full of much longer, healthier, softer hair, that she loved touching/looking at. She thanked me repeatedly. The bad news: She閳ユ獨 always been very headstrong, stubborn %26amp; mouthy. Recently she閳ユ獨 decided that SHE will style her hair with whatever of my products she wants, anytime she wants %26amp; anyway. Once I told her not to wash her very dry hair again that day b/c it was becoming overwashed/overstyled %26amp; damaged! She found a color stripping shampoo under the bed, damaged her hair badly. Happened again today. Cld husband: "Don't bother me with any of it. I don't care." His usual reply regarding how I should handle any of the problems/issues of HIS FIVE KIDS. Realistic suggestions please?

Helping her w/her hair has turned her into a demanding, little diva? Or is someone else to blame for this?

"Recently she閳ユ獨 decided that SHE will style her hair with whatever of my products she wants"

Lock of your products as those products when added up, can get mighty expensive.

"She found a color stripping shampoo under the bed"

A rule in the house. No children are allowed un-supervised in your bedroom. Unless that is already a rule, then pretty much have to get more strict about it. Even if that means putting a lock on your door.

"Cld husband: "Don't bother me with any of it. I don't care." "

You have two choices: To leave or to stay. You asked this over and over and still have same answers. (As last time you were not nice yourself to some of them..cough cough)

Pretty much that is a sign to get counseling and realize he married you as his nanny, not his wife or a mother for his children.

She is 10 now. Wait until she is 15. She is searching for attention she lacks from her father. How I can assume this is there is no male role in none of your post. You can only take so much before either you get fed up or you pretty much let it go.

Helping her w/her hair has turned her into a demanding, little diva? Or is someone else to blame for this?

Lock it all up. I am not kidding. Make her ask for what she needs to use. Sounds like counseling is in order, to me

Helping her w/her hair has turned her into a demanding, little diva? Or is someone else to blame for this?

This is one of those times when your child doesn't want your help but needs it DESPERATELY.

Help her, don't care what she says, she'll thank you in the long run.

That's pretty stupid for a ten year old......pfft, I was smarter than that......

Helping her w/her hair has turned her into a demanding, little diva? Or is someone else to blame for this?

I would put the products away so she could not find them.

It's not that difficult to pull them out when your having a shower.

If she asks where they are tell her in a gentle voice that since

she is acting like a toddler she will be treated as one.

As of now your not helping her with her hair. If she thinks she is grown up enough to do it them fine.

Helping her w/her hair has turned her into a demanding, little diva? Or is someone else to blame for this?

lock up your stuff and the punishment is her hair being the way it is. For you to help tell her she has to respect you. Either that or smack her ;) just joking.

Helping her w/her hair has turned her into a demanding, little diva? Or is someone else to blame for this?

She will learn on her own. once she figures out that you are right over and over.

Helping her w/her hair has turned her into a demanding, little diva? Or is someone else to blame for this?

So, handle it the BEST way you can. If your going to use the old "biological" and "step" excuses, then you really don't care anyway, do you? Don't act or pretend to have any real caring feelings for these kids if you don't, they can see thru you.

Helping her w/her hair has turned her into a demanding, little diva? Or is someone else to blame for this?

I would find a new husband .

Helping her w/her hair has turned her into a demanding, little diva? Or is someone else to blame for this?

I think you're a doll to help her with her hair. My daughter is 10 too. I think that you need to tell her in no uncertain terms that your hair products are yours, she MUST respect that, and ask before using. If she uses them, there are consequences. If her father is so much of a putz that he isn't going to back you up on disciplining his children, that's pathetic. If she wasn't using your stuff, I would tell you to just let her break her hair and look like a ruffian.

It puts you in a rough position. She is being a normal little challenging 10 yr old. They can really be opinionated. I think that you helping her with her hair is a wonderful thing. It didn't make her a diva, she's just going through a lot. It's obvious that these kids really need someone to care for them, since their mother and father don't seem to.

Bless your heart, and good luck. If you are really in it for the long haul, you'll have to take away priviledges and discipline the kids.

Helping her w/her hair has turned her into a demanding, little diva? Or is someone else to blame for this?

it's her hair she will have to deal with it not you. i would literally lock up all of your hair care products, and buy her suave. if hubby has a problem with this let him deal with it the way he does with you "don't bother me with any of it. i don't care." you've done your part now let him do his.

Helping her w/her hair has turned her into a demanding, little diva? Or is someone else to blame for this?

first of all I give you major kudos for also taking in his kids with open arms, not many can do that.

with the hair, whats your is yours if you told her what not to use she should respect that rule. for her to just do what she did, it almost sounds like she is trying to get the attention from her father. If he gave you that remark about not wanting to be bothered with it, especially if he does this often.

sometimes when you take on the role strongly it tells the hubby you've got it under control, so he's hoping you can handle this too. Does he participate a lot with the disipline and rules? Or do you do most of this? His daughter might see he doesn't have a lot of involvement in what she does, even tho you and the kids may get along, there is still that "you're not my mom" you're her step parent.

You've told her what will happen to her hair, if she does this to herself, don't fix her up again, let her live a little bit with the concequences. It may sound harsh, but sometimes it works. Talk to your husband, it sounds like he needs to put his foot in there a littl bit more..

Helping her w/her hair has turned her into a demanding, little diva? Or is someone else to blame for this?

Do NOT get into battles with this child over her hair! It is HER hair, and you are a hair consultant and helper here. She should be given her OWN shampoo (for extra dry hair), conditioner, etc. and allowed to wash, comb, and style it as much/little as she wants to. You're overstepping the boundaries of a parent here, as she's no longer helpless and she's attempting in a crude way to make that clear.

Little girls are building hormones in their little systems, preparing for puberty. They NEED something to control, to rule to nurture, to take care of. ANYTHING that you can do to facilitate this so that it doesn't result in an early pregnancy (so that she FINALLY gets something to take care of that's all HERS) is great!

My daughter took control over her own hair at about that same age. She had new hairdos seemingly every week, and shocked me out of my gourd continually (or so she thought). I was secretly thrilled that SHE was doing all the work, and that she wasn't at all interested in piercings and tattoos. Hair grows back.

I also bought my daughter a puppy when she was 11. She insisted on this puppy, so we researched breeds and made all kinds of deals about puppy care, etc. Needless to say, I had to put up with her polishing the puppy's nails and the poor overpampered animal sported a different pretty scarf for every day of the week, but she did clean up after it and schedule all the vet appointments herself. She also helped pay for it and for keeping it with her birthday money, etc.

I LOVE demanding little divas! They grow up into confident, happy and wonderful women. My daughter has since graduated an Ivy League college and is now in her second year of med school, where she takes good care of half her classmates and is class president and very popular. Plus, she's sweet as anything to me and always helps me clean and buys me things out of the teeny bit of money she has!

Join your little girl in a conspiracy of the ladies, and help her grow up strong and confident in her ability to 'take care' of whatever she takes on. It will make you very happy.

Helping her w/her hair has turned her into a demanding, little diva? Or is someone else to blame for this?

Get a big tool box type thing and lock everything up that you do not want her to touch. When she complains just tell her since she wouldn't listen to you then you have to take matters into your own hands.

Then you need to speak to your husband. If you two do not stand together as a united front then the kids are going to win. He needs to back you up and tell the child what she did was wrong and she should be punished for it.

My husband and I raised 3 daughters and if he did something I did not agree with it was never ever discussed in front of the children. I would let him get finished with the punishment he was handing out and then we would go in to another room and talk calmly about it and reach a decision.

Helping her w/her hair has turned her into a demanding, little diva? Or is someone else to blame for this?

cut it short